Thursday, July 16, 2009

Yo' Mama Jokes

I hate 'Yo Mama' jokes. With a burny, fiery passion. I find them juvenile and pointless when injected into typical conversation. Horrid things designed to insult others nonsensically through the random application of negative attributes onto the woman who bore you.

I don't know many people who actually take them seriously and get offended. I don't take them seriously (I mean, really? Yo' mama so fat she has her own zipcode. Really?) I object to them on principle. There's no need to insult people at all, let alone their mothers. I'm also sure there's some sort of feminist-esque objection I could raise that would require brainstretching for me to concoct since I am not all up on the women's studies terminology. After all, I did CS and Theatre in college and was surrounded by boys who wouldn't know what feminism was if you slapped them with a fish and women so saturated by the emotional outbursts of men that I don't think their worldviews leaned towards patriarchy so much as hippy communes. So yes. Effort that I'm unwilling to expend.

Yo' mama jokes. Immature, ridiculous, and... and... oh wait...

I have a confession. A confession of pure hypocrisy. To be fair, though, I learned the song in Girl Scouts round about middleschool from the farmkids. Either that or I learned it at Biblecamp because I seem to remember actually KNOWING the music to this one.


"Your mama don't wear no socks (uh huh)
I saw when she took 'em off
She threw them in the treeeeeees
Now the dogs refuse to pee!

They gone, gone, gone, gone
They gone, gone, gone, gone

Your mama don't wear no socks (uh huh)
I saw when she took 'em off
She threw them in the skyyyyyyy
Now Superman refuses to fly!


Your mama don't wear no socks (uh huh)
I saw when she took 'em off
She threw them on the floooooooooor
Now the cockroaches moved next door!


Your mama don't wear no socks (uh huh)
I saw when she took 'em off.
She threw them in the siiiiiiiiink
Now the water ain't fit to drink!


Your mama don't wear no socks (uh huh)
I saw when she took 'em off
She threw them in the beeeeeeeed
Now poor old Pop is dead!


*bows* Thank you, thank you. I'm sure there were more verses, but those are the only ones I can remember.

Annnddd, ahha! Here are some examples of the song. It's interesting to see how the song permuted on its way to me learning it.

((Now I remember Princess Pat and CityGirls/CountryGirls and all the others. *sighs* I miss going to summer camp.))

Friday, July 10, 2009

Hermit Rant: Friendship Reacquisition

I have a huge contrary streak that kicks in whenever people bug me to do things, pay attention to them, help them immediately, spend time with them, and generally try to guilt me into various actions. I get angry, evasive and begin to show avoidance behavior. My initial response to any request is a vehement "no" and the more someone tries to convince me, the more obstinate I become. This particular contrary streak has found its way into all corners of my life from writing essays for college, keeping my poor acne-prone face clear, being friends with fringe elements from high-school, finishing important projects properly, and volunteering emotions to friends.

As a personality trait, however, this contrary streak isn't all that bad. It provides some positive results. I finished my degree in a male-dominated field, held out for a job I would enjoy, weathered rough relationship patches with friends, have a high tolerance for hard-to-relate-to people, and I have been known to push myself physically and emotionally past my limits simply because I had to prove to myself that I could.

Additionally, I find it fun to play catch-up with old high-school friends who know what I'm talking about when I reminisce. I have been found by old friends a surprising number of times over the last year or so because of Facebook, the internet, and friends keeping in touch with friends.

Combine these and I have a dilemma. I love seeing old high school friends, even ones who haven't spoken, contacted, or otherwise been in my life for over six years. I will make time to catch up, spend time with them, and enjoy their company.

Except- I hate being bugged to continually do things with this category of people. My contrary nature kicks in and I begin to resent all manner of 'fun'. Irrationally and involuntarily, I yearn to cut off all contact. Invitations to go to parties, hiking, and other entertainments are relegated to very low priority. Communication creeps to the minimum and I have to remind myself to be patient when I get into conversations that inevitably end with a, "Do you want to _blank_ on _day_?"

These are not exactly onerous activities. Still, I resent being asked to do them and fret about the guilt in saying I'm too busy to participate. I have my weeks plotted out, more or less, and I rarely have an evening to spare and, as such, I am jealous of my free time. Regardless, I also believe that time can be found if the person in question is important enough to me. This, then, starts up the guilt that I'm a horrible person because I am unwilling to magically conjure up time to spend with someone who wants to spend time with me. The inequality in the relationship grates against me and only encourages me to distance myself. I rationalize that people cannot just drop yourself into someone else's life and expect to suddenly be bosom pals. Resentment grows.

I then begin to question myself.

* Am I being irrational or is my rationalization valid?
* Am I allergic to fun?
* Am I misanthropic because I do not want to return overtures of friendship?
* Am I resisting simply because adding a new social dynamic represents uncomfortable change?
* Am I submarining a possible close friendship on the basis of selfish inconvenience?
* Do I not have any more brainspace to archive friend-data? (It certainly feels like that, sometimes)
* Do I not respect these people because they are pursuing so strongly?
* Am I kidding myself in really finding these people interesting or am I just being polite?
* Does my reluctance stem from not considering these people to be part of my friend group?
* Am I putting up with legitimately poor behavior because I do not want to deal with the fallout of issuing a rejection?

All of these questions, however, boil down to whether or not I am justified in saying "no" or if I am a horrible person.

I do not cut off all contact immediately and retreat into hermitage with a copy of World of Warcraft, a bucket of salt-water taffy and a twenty-four pack of ginger ale for the simple fact that these people enjoy my company and I enjoy theirs. At the same time, I resent my perceptions of being pestered, pressured, and guilted into doing activities when, where, and with whom. I get frustrated and angry even when the invitations are offered in good faith and the resulting activities are fun, social, and ostensibly 'good for me'.

As my less-than-smooth face and my limp senior thesis can attest, resenting what's good for me can have long-term results. My lesson partially learned and understanding as much as I do about my contrariness, these negative results are one of the reasons I'm so willing to question myself on why I'm resisting.

Honestly, however, I just want to rant up one side of this blog and down the other. Being pestered pisses me off. It's days like this when I get all misanthropic and want to cuss at everyone who walks by. People suck, I want to be a hermit.